Outside of the Bubble.

I used to be in a very tight-knit social circle.  As much as I adored my friends, I outgrew it.  There was a time where I was one of the guys, and loved the friendships I shared with them.  There were no fine lines, no secret romances, no awkward morning-afters.

[This is where I hope that for the past twenty-four years I have not been delusional.  Because there is always "that girl" who thinks she is one of the guys.  Truth be told she only has guy friends because 1) all girls HATE HER or 2) the guys keep her around to make fun of her.  I've seen that girl before, and please, shoot me if it's me... she's a desperate, ANNOYING, head case.]

Over the years, priorities changed for everyone.  Fair enough.  There is no harm in growing apart, and growing into "your own."  My issue wasn't the priorities, or the new rankings in each other's lives.  But at the same time, it was where we stood.  Am I making sense?

I may remember growing up differently than some did.  I know that I stopped spending time with the same crowd, day in and day out, for multiple reasons.  I met new people at work, I kept in touch with childhood friends who weren't necessarily in our "social circle," and I worked full-time.  Not because of some falling out or dramatic event... but because I was becoming who I wanted to be, as were my friends.  Maybe they didn't like everything about the maturing me.  But I had a tough time with their coming-of-age, too.

Ladies, did any of your guy friends reach that stage where you were no longer their girl friend?  Two words, NOT one, JUST a friend?  The stage where you were suddenly an object, or a "goal," for lack of a better term?

It genuinely hurt me -- and equally infuriated me -- when my guy friends gained this confidence cockiness where they felt it was appropriate to hit on me, to make remarks, to make me feel like they were only after one thing.  My feelings for them hadn't developed romantically overnight, and I'm certain most of theirs didn't either.  I don't know if that made it better or worse; the fact that they didn't have true feelings for me, so much as they had gross, post-pubescent desires and their logic was a little cloudy.

SINCE I'M NO THERAPIST, that's all irrelevant.  The bottom line is, where in this equation did people who hung out and watched movies, played basketball, or went to parties together as friends suddenly become dating prospects?  Why would I want to kiss you, date you, or spend any solitary time with you if we never, EVER imagined going down that path before?

What's worse?  When you're the object -- or you're only good for bringing them around?  There was also a time that while my presence was requested,  it was highly encouraged to bring along "hot, single friends."

• I know you pretty well.  Chances are I'll NEVER introduce you to a girl friend of mine.  If I thought you were worthwhile, wouldn't I want you for myself anyway?  [I'm kidding.]
• I have respect for my friends.  The same respect I thought you had for me.
• Stop making us feel objectified.  Period.

For the judgmental reader --  yes, I do have confidence.  No, I do not think that these guys find me to be amazing and lose sleep over me at night.  

I do think that they're lazy, sad excuses for "men."  Meet a girl outside of your social circle, out of your graduating class, and last, but not least, out of your baby sister's graduating class.  There ARE other fish in the sea.