There is a fine line between optimism and naivety.

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for."

- John Lubbock

So simply put, yet coined by a famous man.

There are a few ways that I've interpreted this. But let's go with the black and white version.

Do these expressions ring a bell?

-hope for the best

-give the benefit of the doubt

-brought out the best in someone

There is a fine line between optimism and naivety.

For someone who talks the talk, I’ve been played the fool, too.

I've invested time in both things and people that probably weren't worth the effort.  Against my better judgement, I thought positively instead of practically.  I'm a glass half full kind of girl - by no means do I think you should expect the worst in situations.  [Maybe plan for it, just in case.]

Even though you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, everyone sets their own expectations and makes assumptions about other people.  Personally, I give myself a lot of credit for where I am at in my life, despite the obstacles I've faced.  Some may disagree, but they haven't walked in my shoes nor have any right to judge.  As long as I am happy, what does their opinion matter, anyway?

So why don't I practice what I preach?

I recently wrote about how disappointed I've been in my friends who seek romance with the wrong people.  And I'm not saying BAD people - but wrong for them.  I can't even count how many times I've heard the story of how he's going to change, or things are getting better.  [I call BULLSHIT.]  I actually teared up while speaking with one particular friend last week -- let's blame it on the wine-- because she was defending her boyfriend that I have lost all respect for.  He doesn't need my respect; I hold no ranking and my opinion does not have any affect on their relationship.  That doesn't mean I won't share it.  She fully admitted that even if things were going badly with them, she would hold back on telling me, basically because she doesn't want to hear "told ya so," or for me to dislike him even more.  I'm fearful that nothing has changed, or it's only temporary.  And my friend may not even come to me when she needs to because she doesn't want me to write this guy off completely.  The fact is, I already have.  I just have to wish her well, bite my tongue at certain times [she may disagree, but I try], and hope for the best.

I am not bitter.  I do not assume that every guy will be a disappointment.  I, too, would like to find my fairy tale one day.  But let's just say, I've had my fair share of duds.   They're not all heartbreaking or even memorable stories; I look at them as stepping stones.

The wanna be thug

The high school drop out. (#1)

The 23 year old I dated my senior year

The one I sent packing (I, II, and III)

The one that was two years younger

The one called "Razor"

The one called "Ed Hardy"

The one who said I love you before we started dating

The one with two kids

Have I said too much?

The fact is, as stereotypical as I'm making them all sound right now, I chose not to see those traits, but seek out the qualities that they wanted to shine through.

There is a big difference between wanting something and acquiring it, even personal attributes.  And it's not my prerogative to mold someone into the person they aspire to be.

I've learned this the hard way.  I've lost myself and a ton of money, I've left the school of my dreams, and I've even lost some friends, maybe some dignity, too.  So where are those people now?  Doing the same thing as when I was around, I'm sure... but happy.  Even though they didn't change, they're content.  I was along for the ride because I wanted to see the person they longed to become, and would have been sadly disappointed.

And where am I?  Better off without the ones on the list.