on Wednesdays we wear pink.

I would rather be loved for who I am, than hated for who I am not.  

I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. 

Same thing, right?  It is in my eyes.  Growing up I have had many friends who were story tellers.  They may have been the life of the party and loved by everyone, but if memory serves me correctly, they were loved for who they portrayed themselves to be, and not necessarily their true selves.

To each his own, I say. I've stayed friends with a select few, but other "friendships" have faded.  I have removed myself from those who seek attention, who tell tales, and especially those who break others down in order to build themselves up.  Truth be told, there are some who I just love regardless of their flaws; I know I have my own.  Ask a person who I think has two faces to tell you anything personal about me--I'll guarantee you they have nothing valid.  For someone who is quite a talker, and typically a good judge of character, I like to think that I know when to keep my mouth shut.  I admit that I am truly disappointed when I misjudge someone and am proven wrong about their genuineness.  I have pretty thick skin, but somehow this makes me feel defeated.

Please don't confuse my kindness for a weakness.

Have you ever met someone who is obnoxiously confident, and is so hard to read, that you don't know if you want to like them or not?  I want to like everyone, but sometimes I just CAN'T.  [To hate them is too strong of a word here and would require you to actually care about the person.]  The kind of person that is seemingly well-liked by others, yet many find them appalling?  I've recently encountered one.  She's successful, intelligent, and feared.  Someone like Regina George, except Regina is less intelligent but much prettier.  Remember in Mean Girls, the more people that feared her, the more flowers she got?  

First impressions are everything.  I have gotten the wrong impression of people so many times, and I know I should look past it but its sometimes tough to forget.  With that said, I don't like to show my inner BITCH right at the start... but I do want you to know I'm as real as it gets.  Moving to a new area, starting new jobs, meeting new people... you have a lot of first impressions to make.  So I try my best to be myself; what you see is what you get.  

OH, and those people who say "Hi! My name is XXX , and I DON'T DO DRAMA."  

Fucking run.  This is the most dramatic bitch you'll ever meet. Mark my words.  

WHY do people think they are entitled to act better than you?  Or feel the need to break you down, in order to build you up?  I have the answer for you... They are insecure.  But no one can make you inferior without your consent.  NO ONE. 

I am the Queen (capital Q, capital B) of Bitch moves and dirty looks.  I have haters... BUT I ADMIT IT.  My honesty is my strength, my honesty gets me into some awkwardly HILARIOUS situations, and most importantly it saves me a hell of a lot of time.  I am 24.  I hope to live four times that.  But from what I've experienced thus far, I know that I don't want to waste my time pretending to me someone I am not, and I don't want to live with a chip on my shoulder.

My intent with this post is to not throw anyone specifically under the bus [coincidentally another Mean Girls reference]... But for humor's sake, here's two things that came out of the woman's mouth within five minutes of meeting her: 

Oh, you like to tan?  Yeah, I love cancer, too.  well, you like to be a see you next tuesday, but unfortunately doctors can't cure that.  

I would never go into Tilted Kilt, I have my own tits to look at.

WELL THANK GOD because 1) your boyfriend must not like them that much. 2) He's paying the bill so I don't care. 3) You look incredibly insecure while you look down at the table while I speak to you and you grill your man while he's talking to me. 4) You know nothing about me, where my huge boobs have been or if I am a whore. 5) You're too fat to wear the uniform. 6) Get the fuck over me.

I'd like to say I actually responded with those things.  But it was my first impression... she appeared to me an insecure, fat snob, and I looked like an angel ;) 

FYI:  Three months later, she now knows the REAL me and I'm confident that we will never have to share another fake hello or friendly smile... and I could not be happier :)

Girls, we all have claws -- you just need to know when to reveal your weapon.

Could you do me a solid?

I was actually tricked into being asked out today by someone saying exactly that!  Here's the best part - it was through an instant messaging program at work.

Would it be worse if it was through a text, a tweet, or a Facebook message?  I'm honestly not even sure.  My concern is, what happened to face to face interaction, or picking up the phone and having a conversation?  Because in this case, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE COJONES TO ASK ME IN PERSON, ANYWAY.  [#sorrynotsorry.]

Am I an uber bitch for not being flattered, in ANY way, that you have hit on me VIA social media, instant messaging, or a text message?  Rhetorical question by the way - I don't actually care.

Let me paint a picture for you.  I would say my office has a few hundred people.  I don't really know, but we take up more than one floor in the building, and there's a ton of people who I've never met and will probably never cross paths with.  With that said - how do these people know my name?

I'm talking about a handful of people, not the whole office, so don't start calling me a cocky bitch.  Regardless, there's a few who know me and I haven't a clue what they look like.

How do I know this?  Because a little bird told me, that a little bird was asking them if that new little bird... I mean the new girl that they saw in the elevator was single.  That's not so bad.  Someone was inquiring.  This is basically where I chose my fate.  I even tried to respond with "Well I don't really mix business with pleasure" but the bird told me it wasn't anyone in my department.  RED FLAG: Then who the heck are you because I don't know anyone else.  But I said, "well in that case, no, I am not seeing anyone," and went back to my cubicle.

[please picture the movie Office Space from this point forward whenever I reference my job.  I feel like I live that, day in and day out.  Can you tell I love it there?  Sometimes people take my sarcasm seriously and they think I am stupid.  Don't be that idiot.]

Back at my desk, within minutes, it begins.  We have this instant messaging tool called SameTime -- its like AIM from junior high.  Anyway, someone I don't know actually messages me out of the blue, without referencing my conversation with the bird, and says they want to introduce themselves.  That's nice and all, but does this technically count via IM?  Also, you need to know first and last name to message someone.  You've weird-ed me out already.

"Hey, I think we've shared some funny elevator rides, I wanted to introduce myself."  You can decide if that's awkward or not.  I won't even comment.

My very delayed response.... "Cool!  Say hi next time you see me." Dude, we're at work, we're supposed to be working... I'm not saying I don't have personal conversations on here, but usually they're with people whose face I can recognize.

Fortunately this one's no quitter.  Those are his words, not mine by the way.  For weeks now, this guy has on multiple occasions said "Hey I saw you in the hall but you looked busy so I didn't stop ya."  Tell me this doesn't sound creepy!  I literally just got back to my desk and we crossed paths within the past 5 minutes, but you didn't say anything to me and waited for me to come off of 'away status' to let me know.   There's a great chance that this is the nicest guy in the world.  That's my point actually -- he could be, BUT I DON'T KNOW HIM, so this is weird.  Will I ever get past the whole 'I'm watching you from a distance' vibe that I'm getting now?  Most likely NO.

It annoys me when I am clearly ignoring someone and they're persistent.  I feel like you're forcing yourself into my personal bubble.  It's not my goal to be rude.  In this case,  I'm just hoping he gets the hint so I don't have to be blunt.  Do we remember the post about breaking up with people we aren't even dating?  This is where that's headed.

This guy can carry on a one sided convo ALL DAY.  I'm not sure if that's a skill or positive trait or anything, but he's really good at it.  Eventually, he even says "Ok I'm pretty swamped over here I'm gonna have to get going...but let's get lunch tomorrow!"

OK.  IF I HAVEN'T BEEN TALKING TO YOU DURING THIS "CONVO" I DON'T THINK WE HAVE LUNCH PLANS.  A "yes" or "sounds good" ... hell, a smiley face would at least grant that assumption.  Please, at 11:50 AM the next day, do not ask me where we're meeting.  I haven't put you in the psycho bucket yet, but some people are a little quicker to judge.

Today he did the whole "Hey can you do me a solid" thing.  What favor could I possibly do for you since we don't know each other in real life and I don't work in your department?  GO TO LUNCH WITH ME.  By the way, its his birthday today.  How come you don't have plans with your friends today?!  I'm not saying he went and ate alone.  I sure hope not, at least.  But when someone who you don't know suddenly has time for you when you 1) haven't expressed interest and 2) haven't allotted any time for them in return, it's a red flag -- I'm all about meeting new people but I had a life before yesterday when we met.  It may not be an exciting one in your opinion, but a content and happy social/personal life, either way.

Some advice -- Don't take my rejection as an invitation to now make me FEEL GUILTY for this social life. Guilt tripping me into a date isn't exactly starting on the right foot.  And lunch isn't a date, I know.... But when I bail on lunch and you say, "Okay, possibly something for dinner instead?", it certainly is.

I am so tired of people thinking I want to spend two hours with them over a meal when I don't even know them.  I'd rather meet a friend for dinner... sue me.  I am not sure if I am coming off as a shallow person here, but I don't care.  If I don't know you, your name, what you look like, or maybe we've met once, what makes you think I'm flattered by you creepily messaging, facebooking, tweeting me that we can get dinner?  I actually find myself wondering what makes these guys I don't even know think they have a shot with me?

[Jadakiss reference...NOW] I'M NOT COCKY, I'M CONFIDENT.  But what girl just goes out with anyone and everyone? NOT THIS ONE.

I could go on forever about this.  Tell you everything this guy says, tell you about the other ones.  Here's an actual IM at work from someone else.

 names have been disguised to protect me from the other creepy work people.
am i weird for not thinking "THE BOMB" is a compliment.  it is 2012.

But I won't go on any further.  Let's be honest, there will be another story down the road anyway... CAN'T WAIT.  Moral of the story - I value human interaction and I am proud to be a confident woman.  If I wanted to meet someone online, I'd join eHarmony.