Could you do me a solid?

I was actually tricked into being asked out today by someone saying exactly that!  Here's the best part - it was through an instant messaging program at work.

Would it be worse if it was through a text, a tweet, or a Facebook message?  I'm honestly not even sure.  My concern is, what happened to face to face interaction, or picking up the phone and having a conversation?  Because in this case, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE COJONES TO ASK ME IN PERSON, ANYWAY.  [#sorrynotsorry.]

Am I an uber bitch for not being flattered, in ANY way, that you have hit on me VIA social media, instant messaging, or a text message?  Rhetorical question by the way - I don't actually care.

Let me paint a picture for you.  I would say my office has a few hundred people.  I don't really know, but we take up more than one floor in the building, and there's a ton of people who I've never met and will probably never cross paths with.  With that said - how do these people know my name?

I'm talking about a handful of people, not the whole office, so don't start calling me a cocky bitch.  Regardless, there's a few who know me and I haven't a clue what they look like.

How do I know this?  Because a little bird told me, that a little bird was asking them if that new little bird... I mean the new girl that they saw in the elevator was single.  That's not so bad.  Someone was inquiring.  This is basically where I chose my fate.  I even tried to respond with "Well I don't really mix business with pleasure" but the bird told me it wasn't anyone in my department.  RED FLAG: Then who the heck are you because I don't know anyone else.  But I said, "well in that case, no, I am not seeing anyone," and went back to my cubicle.

[please picture the movie Office Space from this point forward whenever I reference my job.  I feel like I live that, day in and day out.  Can you tell I love it there?  Sometimes people take my sarcasm seriously and they think I am stupid.  Don't be that idiot.]

Back at my desk, within minutes, it begins.  We have this instant messaging tool called SameTime -- its like AIM from junior high.  Anyway, someone I don't know actually messages me out of the blue, without referencing my conversation with the bird, and says they want to introduce themselves.  That's nice and all, but does this technically count via IM?  Also, you need to know first and last name to message someone.  You've weird-ed me out already.

"Hey, I think we've shared some funny elevator rides, I wanted to introduce myself."  You can decide if that's awkward or not.  I won't even comment.

My very delayed response.... "Cool!  Say hi next time you see me." Dude, we're at work, we're supposed to be working... I'm not saying I don't have personal conversations on here, but usually they're with people whose face I can recognize.

Fortunately this one's no quitter.  Those are his words, not mine by the way.  For weeks now, this guy has on multiple occasions said "Hey I saw you in the hall but you looked busy so I didn't stop ya."  Tell me this doesn't sound creepy!  I literally just got back to my desk and we crossed paths within the past 5 minutes, but you didn't say anything to me and waited for me to come off of 'away status' to let me know.   There's a great chance that this is the nicest guy in the world.  That's my point actually -- he could be, BUT I DON'T KNOW HIM, so this is weird.  Will I ever get past the whole 'I'm watching you from a distance' vibe that I'm getting now?  Most likely NO.

It annoys me when I am clearly ignoring someone and they're persistent.  I feel like you're forcing yourself into my personal bubble.  It's not my goal to be rude.  In this case,  I'm just hoping he gets the hint so I don't have to be blunt.  Do we remember the post about breaking up with people we aren't even dating?  This is where that's headed.

This guy can carry on a one sided convo ALL DAY.  I'm not sure if that's a skill or positive trait or anything, but he's really good at it.  Eventually, he even says "Ok I'm pretty swamped over here I'm gonna have to get going...but let's get lunch tomorrow!"

OK.  IF I HAVEN'T BEEN TALKING TO YOU DURING THIS "CONVO" I DON'T THINK WE HAVE LUNCH PLANS.  A "yes" or "sounds good" ... hell, a smiley face would at least grant that assumption.  Please, at 11:50 AM the next day, do not ask me where we're meeting.  I haven't put you in the psycho bucket yet, but some people are a little quicker to judge.

Today he did the whole "Hey can you do me a solid" thing.  What favor could I possibly do for you since we don't know each other in real life and I don't work in your department?  GO TO LUNCH WITH ME.  By the way, its his birthday today.  How come you don't have plans with your friends today?!  I'm not saying he went and ate alone.  I sure hope not, at least.  But when someone who you don't know suddenly has time for you when you 1) haven't expressed interest and 2) haven't allotted any time for them in return, it's a red flag -- I'm all about meeting new people but I had a life before yesterday when we met.  It may not be an exciting one in your opinion, but a content and happy social/personal life, either way.

Some advice -- Don't take my rejection as an invitation to now make me FEEL GUILTY for this social life. Guilt tripping me into a date isn't exactly starting on the right foot.  And lunch isn't a date, I know.... But when I bail on lunch and you say, "Okay, possibly something for dinner instead?", it certainly is.

I am so tired of people thinking I want to spend two hours with them over a meal when I don't even know them.  I'd rather meet a friend for dinner... sue me.  I am not sure if I am coming off as a shallow person here, but I don't care.  If I don't know you, your name, what you look like, or maybe we've met once, what makes you think I'm flattered by you creepily messaging, facebooking, tweeting me that we can get dinner?  I actually find myself wondering what makes these guys I don't even know think they have a shot with me?

[Jadakiss reference...NOW] I'M NOT COCKY, I'M CONFIDENT.  But what girl just goes out with anyone and everyone? NOT THIS ONE.

I could go on forever about this.  Tell you everything this guy says, tell you about the other ones.  Here's an actual IM at work from someone else.

 names have been disguised to protect me from the other creepy work people.
am i weird for not thinking "THE BOMB" is a compliment.  it is 2012.

But I won't go on any further.  Let's be honest, there will be another story down the road anyway... CAN'T WAIT.  Moral of the story - I value human interaction and I am proud to be a confident woman.  If I wanted to meet someone online, I'd join eHarmony.