You can't make the same mistake twice.

The second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake.  It's a choice.

I have had my fair share of break-ups. When I look back, they were never as bad as they seemed while they were happening. In fact, they’re hardly memorable and chances are, no longer have any affect on me.

Regardless, while they’re happening, you go through so many emotions – relief, happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment. What are you supposed to do with this whirl wind of feelings? Where do you start when you’re picking up the pieces?

Fortunately, I have my friends to keep me sane and level headed, and I hope everyone has that type of support. The role of a friend is to let you cry when you need to, let you shit-talk him when you’re angry, and give you the ego boost you need -- you’re better off and made the right decision. 1-2-3, you have moved on.

I have no problem being the friend who fills all these shoes. Usually, my friends and I date douchebags and we need all the help we can get to wake-the-fuck-up.

So put yourself in my shoes.

Phase one: We have the girl wine nights, we eat cake batter, we “get our mind off it” because we swear we will never make the same mistake and push our friends away because we are so wrapped up in a guy again.

Phase two: We get wasted, act like we’re still in college, and probably do something stupid.  But it’s okay because “it’s not like we do that all the time.” [#shitgirlssay]  Then we realize we can’t handle the hangovers anymore.

Phase three: We have weekly dates where we talk about how much happier we are over martinis.  Finally a friendship has been rebuilt; we're no longer under someone else's spell.

So when you get back with the guy, are you technically at phase four, phase zero or phase (-) negative ten?  It's all the same to me = it's the stupid phase.

My point isn't to mock my foolish friends [today.]  In fact, I am guilty of it, too. Having that first-hand experience makes my heart hurt so much more when I see my friends move backward.  

I'm not the best at knowing when to walk away from a situation.  This is not to be confused with difficulty in doing so -- another fault of mine is doing it with too much ease. It's picking which situations are worth sticking out and which ones I need to "just let go."

I've seen too many women I care about, who I've been proud to call my friends and many of whom I admired, completely lose sight of themselves.  Usually I am the friend you go to for the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.  I'm the one who tells it like it is.  

Sometimes, I've learned, it's best to say nothing - because I refuse to say what they want to hear for the heck of it.  

One time too many, I have pushed away a friend because I couldn't bear to watch her travel the same path.  Hasn't she heard of the saying "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?"

If my friends [male and female] make an effort to stop selling themselves short when seeking romance, I'll make an effort to stop being so "hard headed."

And that's a lot coming from me.