Let's set the stage for this story. Spring break of 2009 I went to revisit my old college campus. I transferred from a school at the beach to a school back home my junior year - 660 miles apart from each other. Mistake Number One... of many.
This being my second year at the new school, combined with the fact that it was in my hometown, I had found my "comfort zone" and already gotten to know the partying, bar, and dating scene... quite well, to be accurate. I was dating a guy in a fraternity. Let me clarify - this fraternity, as fun as it was and cool as the guys were, was nothing like the Greek organizations at my old school, where I was a member of a sorority, as well. So in my opinion, these guys weren't exactly comparable to the men of reputable, southern schools with actual houses and parties that were thrown in venues, not basements.
That being said, fast forward to the break-up. Who even knows why we broke up specifically - he had lied to me about something and I wasn't having it. But, typical girl, I missed him and wanted to give it another shot. So the brilliant idea to go stay with my best friend and her boyfriend for spring break comes to mind. We'll see if "we still have a shot" with no one interfering. Rekindle what we had. (I'm rolling my eyes as I type.) And we travel twelve hours to Myrtle Beach straight through the night, snacks packed by his mother (one of those sweet ladies who thought we were meant to be, you know the type that thinks her son is perfect) and the iPod loaded with some music.
On the drive down, we're talking about everything under the sun. Gotta make the time pass. The subject of the fraternity comes up... it's in their nature to talk about themselves and the fact that they're "the shit" every few minutes. Possibly in the by-laws, I don't know. So it turns out there's been some tension in the house -- where my boyfriend doesn't live, by the way. He basically sleeps on couches when we aren't together and it already drives me nuts that he is a "moocher." (What am I doing with him if I can't stand him? Beats me.) The newest pledge class is apparently a group of good eggs. At a chapter meeting, they make an announcement about the well-known drug use in the house. From now on, at parties, there will be no smoking marijuana in the basement or first and second floors. Something like that. And harder drugs can't be done at all, or only on the third floor. I don't remember much of the details. I do remember, however, how livid he was. Who do these kids think they are saying we can't do what we want in our own house, they have been here for five minutes, blah blah blah.
Well, my dear, innocent boyfriend... why do you care so much? And this dumbass drops the ball that he enjoys some recreational coke every now and then... "what's the big deal, babe?"
I don't date kids who do drugs. Do whatever you please, friends of mine, I'm not judging. But my boyfriends don't do drugs. What blows my mind is that this guy has been lying to me for months about his habits, fully knowing that I don't want to be a part of it, and denying every accusation which turned out to be true. One time he texted everyone in his phone for pills; for his "friend." My 21st birthday, half-drunk, I come downstairs in the middle of the night to 10 dudes with their shirts off hovered around a counter doing coke. I'm so naive I don't even know what coke is, I just think they're being weird. So this is the icing on the cake. Why is he even with me if he knows I don't like what he is about? He should be with a girl who doesn't mind that stuff... I'd be fine with that. But now he's been lying to me for months.
This is going to be an awesome vacation!
We arrive and I meet my best friend's boyfriend. The kid is rubbing her feet while we watch a movie, and my boyfriend and I are sitting on opposite sides of the couch. That and many other disgusting, lovey-dovey exchanges between the two of them contribute to my conclusion that this relationship is a lost cause. We spend one night out at a bar where I meet up with some old friends, and my amazing boyfriend I couldn't wait for them to meet is in the corner doing shots by himself. This can't be real life.
A few nights into the trip, we have an opportunity for some space apart. I JUMP ON IT. He's got a friend who is also vacationing down there, they have some online assignment due before the end of the trip, they're going to get together to work on it and then have a guys night... I don't care what they do, this means I can go see my sorority sisters and spend the night with some old friends without him glued to my hip or feeding his alcoholism in the corner, whichever is worse.
Who knows how it all went down, who really cares for that matter? I don't think I even talked to him that night we were apart. We both clearly didn't miss each other. But in the morning my mind was made up. I packed his bag and put it outside his friends' condo where he had stayed. There was maybe a text message or two exchanged, and that was it. I called him later that week to make sure he had made it home and offered a ride pack to Pennsylvania, but he said he flew back a few days earlier.
It may have been the easiest, least drawn out break-up of my life. And most certainly the funniest.
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